Weight Loss to the Extreme {A joke I Promise}

We have all heard the statements from the doctors that we need to lose weight. Some of us have gotten tons of emails with the most recent and newest way to lose weight. I have gotten more than my fair share of them and my sense of humor got the best of me so I am having fun.

Diet plan 1: If you have only a minor amount of weight (under 40 pounds) and want to do it in a rather unique way, here is a joke for you. When you wash your hair, don’t let the shampoo run down your back. The reason is this. Most shampoos are designed to add weight and volume. When you take a shower wash with Dish Soap. Most dish soaps remove fat and grease. So, using the dish soap will remove the excess fat that you have. {Please remember this is a joke only}

 

Diet plan 2: If you have over a hundred pounds to lose and really, really good medical insurance you could try this one. However, you may lose more than you want when you do it so this is A Joke! You will need a few things. Like I said really, really good medical insurance. You will need a boat and a fair amount of courage. Go down to California, get on your boat and go out by Point Reyes. Make sure that there are seals and sea lions playing in the water. Cut the palms of both hands and jump in the water. A Great White shark comes along, takes 30 to 50 pounds off and rush to the hospital!
Remember this is a joke only!!

 

Diet plan 3: If you have a lot of money (and I mean a lot) you could do this. However, you won’t be able to survive and tell people about it. The reason that I say you will need a lot of money is that you will need to get put in cryogenic sleep and put on a rocket to the supermassive blackhole at the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. You want to wake up just as you go over the Event Horizon so you can get the full effect of spaghettification. This way you would be thin for a few moments however even the atoms in your body will run into the issue of gravity and spaghettification would pull you totally apart.



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